Policenauts Fan-Translation Released

It's a powerful, intensely gripping video-game experience. It's one of the greatest adventure games of all time, and one of the best you can find on the 3DO, Playstation, or Saturn. It's a masterpiece of storytelling from the creator of Metal Gear Solid himself...

...and you can't play it. That's the reality that we English-speaking people have had to live with ever since 'Policenauts' was first released for the NEC PC-9801 way back in 1994. Work began on a translated release for the Sega Saturn in 1996, but alas, it was cancelled, and it seemed that 'Policenauts' was doomed to an eternity of Japanese exclusitivity, out-of-reach for those outside of the land of the rising sun.

That is, until today, when that supposed 'enternity' was mercilessly shattered into a million pieces, for today, Kojima-san's 46th birthday, marks the release of the unofficial Policenauts translation patch, after many years in the making.

This wondrous project has finally enabled we non-Japanese speakers to play the game previous only referenced briefly in Konami's 'Metal Gear Solid'.

In case your skull is so firmly encased in carbonite that you have yet to get the point of my drawn-out and woefully pretentious wordplay, I will sum up what you have to do in three simple steps:

1. Ensure you have a modded/boot disc enabled Playstation, or a working emulator set-up.

2. Go to http://policenauts.net/ and download the translation patch.

3. Play one of the best games of all time.

There. Simple, wasn't it?

PS3 Slim & Price Drop Announced

We all knew it was happening. Seriously, everyone knew. Sony finally let it out of the bag that the PS3 slim is not only coming, but its coming the FIRST WEEK OF SEPTEMBER! GET OUT THE PARTY FAVORS! WOO!

Ahem...

Anyways, it will be for the low price of $299, and will include an awesome 120GB hard drive. The new PS3 is 33 percent smaller, 36 percent lighter and uses around 34% less power. Also, starting like, right this second. All PS3's are being lowered in price to reflect the price drop. Heck, Best Buy has a deal for the current PS3 with an 80GB hard drive for $299 with Wall-E on Blu Ray and Little Big Planet as an added bonus.

I talk bad about the PS3 for the most part, but recently, Sony has hit all the right spots. A good library, a great new price point, and a free online service? Xbox 360, I love you, but you might be getting a new neighbor. Expecially since my Wii is just collecting dust. The fact that the last game I played on it was Iron Chef America should tell you why.

Sony Patents Emotion Controller Plans

Sony has always had innovative ideas. Think about it. They've had online play, cameras, and motion sensing. Of course, Nintendo already had motion controls. And Sega already had the DreamEye on the Dreamcast. And online play? Even the GENESIS had online in some form before Sony!

This patent allows games to use metadata to read the player's emotions. While laughter is the focus in these sketches, it will be used for sadness, anger, boredom, etc. as well. It is certainly interesting, and most likely has to do with Microsoft's Project Natal, which showed some quite impressive pre-rendered footage at E3.

I just wonder how long it took for the artist to come up with a guy getting kicked in the pants as humor? Oh Sony, your failed attempts at humor never cease to amuse me! Hey, maybe the system can read my boredom when I'm playing Haze. Then again, the system might grow legs and strangle me with the controller. I'll just stick with using a pad and system. You can keep my emotions out of your games.